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Billionaire Must Squeeze Into 24,000 Square Feet

Steven A. Cohen's East Hampton building constraints

You gotta feel for Steven A. Cohen. First the SEC bugs him, then his former wife gets all whiny, then East Hampton gets all up in his grill about his fence, and now the town tells him his new Further Lane house can’t exceed the footprint of the one he went all David Tepper on.

The old house was about 10,000 square feet. The new place will be 24,100 square feet, including the lower level, not including the pool house. How the hell is your average billionaire supposed to relax in that cramped space? Sheesh. Think about it: maybe East Hampton just doesn’t deserve Steven A. Cohen.

Don't worry, Steven. You still have your 2013 Curbed Hamptons Billionaire of the Year crown to fall back on.