Donald Trump should buy this house in the Hamptons

An email to Curbed read, “Why doesn’t Donald Trump have a home in the Hamptons? My theory is that Trump doesn't have a home in the Hamptons because he'll be a small fish in the pond out here. He prefers to have homes where he can be the Biggest the Bestest and the Mostest. Does this hold up?”

Quite possibly: his three-story Trump Tower penthouse and Mar-a-Lago certainly apply. But Trump also owns a 230-acre estate in Bedford, NY; the former Kluge estate in Charlottesville, Virginia; and a house on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. The Bedford house is reportedly where he relaxes on weekends, when other people go to the Hamptons. And maybe Mr. Trump just doesn’t like the Hamptons: who knows?

But being the obliging sort, we thought we’d find the Trump family a house in the Hamptons. In the end, only one home could fit the Trump lifestyle: of course it’s the Sandcastle, which is owned by Joe and Kristen Farrell. But it’s often for rent and/or sale; last asking price was around $43M. We’re sure Farrell and Trump could come to some kind of deal.

While the Sandcastle does have all kinds of fab amenities—there's a movie theater, bowling alley, walk-in refrigerator, wine room, rock climbing wall, home theater, heated swimming pool, guest quarters, basketball court, skateboard rails, tennis court, private gym and spa—it lacks one thing: ENOUGH GILT.

So you’re welcome for the idea, Mr. President-elect, and don’t forget to invite us to your housewarming.

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