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But Enough About the Good Hotels

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Here are some hilarious bad reviews of East End hotels/motels/fleabags we've sniffed out for your amusement.

Greenview Inn, Riverhead
For your own safety stay away from this place. […] We pulled up and our mouths dropped. There were prostitutes with their doors open and were looking at us as we pulled up. There were a lot of shady characters roaming around. My husband made me stay in the car with locked doors as he tried to get our money back. When he returned, he informed me the place was even worse inside and falling apart. […] We were not going to put our family in jeopardy so we left. Needless to say, we hightailed it out of there.

Sun 'N' Sand Hotel, Southampton
[...] As soon as we arrived the outside didn't look appealing at all. They didn't even plow a little pathway to our room we had to walk through the snow. The room had two bed one wasn't even made and they had stains on the sheets. The door was broken if u didn't lock it the door would pop open from the wind. The floor had someone else's hair on it and the bed felt sandy. There was no heat in fact they gave us a little portable heater. .There was no wifi...crayon on the ceiling ..There were several outlets and only two worked...The shower and sink had a unexplainable blue stain ....and the pillows under the pillow case were completely yellow and stained....I couldn't wait to get home and shower and I wouldn't recommend this room even for a cheap hooker.

The Bentley, Southampton
"Bentley is a dump"
This hotel had a bad smell. The room said no expense undertaken. The worst in 30 years. And the rate, ridiculous. These guys are trading on their Southampton location. I told my wife if we found bugs: we would drive back to NYC that night. Fortunately none. No amount of written abuse does it justice.

Budget Host East End, Riverhead
I read the reviews of this hotel and thought our group could handle it since we were only going to be sleeping there. I was wrong! We left after the first night (we were supposed to stay 3 nights) because half of our group couldn't sleep, thinking that something was going to start crawling. My mom thought it was so sketchy that she wouldn't even let me walk up to the room by myself (I am an adult and perfectly capable of taking care of myself). I will not go back here again, nor would I recommend this hotel to anybody who is even remotely squeamish. The "kitchenette" is a joke. The only positive thing I can say is that when we wanted to leave, the staff was very understanding (like they knew it was coming).

Sun 'N' Sand, Southampton
"Horrible and Unsafe"
[…] I think it was horrible and unsafe. The smoke detectors were pulled out of the ceiling. The electrical outlets didn't have covers with exposed wires. The bathtub stained blue. The bathroom sink backs up. There are open pipes sticking out behind the bathroom door. I didn't get want I wanted or booked. I booked a king size bed and the owner gave me a double bed and said that is all he had even though I showed him I booked a king size bed. Don't stay here!!!