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'Move That Zebra Skin Down!' Comparing Staging Photos

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When you spend all day looking at real estate photo listings—you're welcome by the way—you start to notice how the same rooms are staged differently in photos put out by the various agencies. One that caught our eye recently was 11 Halsey Farm Drive in Southampton, which is asking $8.75M for a 6700sf house on two acres. The interiors are really just astonishingly dull but the staging photos aren't helping in that regard.

One of the few slightly less dull photos is above, in the Brown Harris Stevens listing. A zebra skin isn't our first choice in sofa-sized art, but OK. We're too terrified to contemplate the enormous head in the lower right, though.

How is this room in any way improved by moving the zebra skin down, Saunders? But hey, at least Giant Head is gone. The pictures have also been moved around, for approximately zero aesthetic improvement.

Coldwell Banker probably wisely avoids getting the zebra in the shot entirely, as well as Giant Scary Head. Also, they moved the table and chairs on the right. Here, the scattering of too-small pictures just looks bad.

The dining room in the Coldwell Banker shot appears to be post-nuclear. There is a tureen and some pointless doilies on the table.

BHS goes to some effort here, put extra soup tureens 'n' shit on the dining table doilies.

Saunders ain't got time for soup tureens, people. Chop chop!

In the master bedroom, let's try to determine what color the traveling chairs are.

Maroon?

Terracotta?

POST APOCALYPTIC ORANGE? The world may never know.