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A Not Entirely Serious Guide for Surviving a Hamptons Heatwave

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1. Go to the beach. Do not leave the beach. Sleep on the beach. When the nice officer asks you to leave, tell him you are the famous Beach Hermit of the Hamptons and according to English common law, hermits cannot be compelled to move along.

2. Go the movies. First determine which theater is the coldest by calling and inquiring about temperatures. Sneak into every movie that is playing, possibly more than once. Pretend you work there. Sweep up some popcorn if the other workers give you the stinkeye.

3. Shop. Try on every single garment in the store, including those of the wrong size and gender. At Sleepy's, pretend to sleep on the mattresses.

4. Sit in the ice cream case at King Kullen. By the time they catch you, you'll be cool again.

5. Drink until you pass out. Maybe by the time you wake up, the heat will have broken! If it hasn't, drink some more. Try a frosty daiquiri!

King Kullen

2044 Montauk Highway, Bridgehampton, NY 11932 Visit Website