The formula: buy an aging Montauk motel, slap a few improvements into the joint, build a poolside bar with a vulgar name, fight incessantly with the town, book a number of high-profile musical acts, and start raking in the dough! Here, for your approval, are the candidates. Start buying the necessary turntables, vinyl collections, and retro rental bikes now, and look around for a resident DJ.
Albatross West Motel
20 Elmwood Ave, Montauk
The Skinny (jeans): The Albatross West Motel sits on .38 acre of prime Montauk real estate, south of the highway. 200 yards from the ocean, there are 20 units on two stories plus a manager's apartment and office. Bedrooms: 12, bathrooms, 12.5, 38,567sf.
Suggested rebrand: The Motel at Montauk
Bar name: The Seaman's Vessel
The Lido Motel
2 South Euclid Ave, Montauk
The Lowdown (waistband): There are 6 efficiencies and 13 standard rooms plus manager's apartment. About 4000sf set on one acre, centrally located, with a pool with pond view.
Suggested rebrand: The Two Gulls
Bar name: The Booty Plunder
548 West Lake Drive, Montauk
The Straight Dope (in a fedora): The Sail Inn is a 5,000sf hotel, restaurant, and bar located near Montauk Harbor. There are 10 guest rooms and 10.5 bathrooms on .46 acre. The restaurant and bar have indoor and outdoor seating for 50 hipsters.
Suggested rebrand: MTKBCH
Bar name: The Booby Hatch