No, Stubborn Semen Stains is not the latest party night at a Montauk club. Let's just stop here and warn impressionable young readers or people who rent out their Hamptons home to stop reading now or at least take an Ativan.
OK, we're good? A Brooklyn couple, Stuart and Susan Silverman, rented out their East Hampton home last summer to a businessman. They really should have used their Google fingers and asked why said businessman's company was called "Vice Energy LLC," because he certainly didn't bother to tell them that he wanted to use the house as a setting for an Internet show called "pArty of 5," which features five days of boozy sex parties in various cities around the world.
(Boozy sex parties? And they didn't invite us? Frankly, we're hurt.) The Silvermans were shocked to find their house advertised as the "Vice Hamptons Crib." Let's just say the cavorting women in various stages of undress at the party and their young swains didn't use coasters on the nice tables. The house was trashed, and now the couple is suing, not least of which because of the semen stains on their sofa that won't come out.
· Hamptons Orgy House Owners Suing [NY Daily News]