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Translating Brokerbabble: A Primer

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Our friends over at the Estately blog have put together an amusing post translating the most common terms brokers use in real estate listings. We've included some of our favorites below, but check out the whole thing—it's funny.

"Delightful"
"Delightful" is just the brand of air freshener used to cover up the smell of the dead raccoon trapped in the crawl space.

"Great Investment Property"
Imagine how much more you could sell this house for if it were a completely different house.

"Needs a Little TLC"
Once you remove the asbestos and popcorn ceilings all that's left to do is completely rebuild it.

"Bring Your Architect"
Because an architect is the only person who stands to make any money if you choose to remodel this mess of a home.

"Handyman Special"
If you're a licensed electrician, plumber, contractor, finish carpenter, asbestos-removal specialist, and have eight years and unlimited savings, you'll still lose money trying to fix this place up.

"Hunting Opportunities Out Your Backdoor"
Raccoons and bears will wander into your kitchen if you leave the backdoor open.
· The Official Estately Guide to Translating Real Estate Listing Broker Babble [Estately]