It's time to make up a bunch of awards and hand them out to the most deserving people, places and things in the worlds of Hamptons real estate, architecture, and dining. That's right, it's time for the Third Annual Curbed Awards! Today's topic: 2013 listings that stood out from the rest.
Stony in Southampton
Remember this one? This has to be one of the weirdest, most impractical and just plain ugly houses in the Hamptons.
You arrive walking onto a porch tiled in marble for some reason. You'd better hope it's not wet outside or you're going to be cracking your skull on that shiny tile. The foyer's brick and tile resembles a down-at-the-heels public high school more than anything else. The marble tile on the fireplace makes it seem as if it were made of extra shiny, smooth cinderblock. The fenestration looks like a bunch of windows left over from other construction jobs. We understand that there's a "tobacco drying shed" out back—because there's so much tobacco grown in Southampton? Who decided that was a design element crying out to be expressed here? The whole adds up to one deeply unfortunate-looking home. And all for a mere $1.664 million. Still on the market? No
"Asian-inspired" in Quogue
This place was also just plain weird and inexplicable.
This house leaves us so, so confused. Obviously, two acres of land on Dune Road is a great property. The house is large, with 7500sf, 5 bedrooms and 5.5 baths. But most of the rooms leave us scratching our head—we don't even know their purpose if they don't have a bed or a sofa in them. Is that the basement with the suspended ceiling? What's with the…office, is it? The listing says "owner motivated." Indeed. Still on the market? Yes
Price now: $5.4M, a drop of $2.6M
Chinese Style in Noyac
If the previous "Asian inspired" house wasn't expensive enough, how about this elaborate Chinese-style house with three acres of lovely gardens? Only $28M.
Sure, you're thinking to yourself, "I'd like to spend a whole lot of money on athree-acre Chinese garden that includes a scale replica of Beijing's Temple of Heaven. If there were a 10,000sf Chinese-inspired mansion on the property as well that would be super." Are you ever in luck! Curbed National has got a House of the Day just for you! The main house boasts seven bedrooms and seven bathrooms, and was completed in 2005 on land purchased for just $450K. Still on the market? Yes
Price now: $28M
Back in the 1950s the visionary Buckminster Fuller experimented with the geodesic dome as an architectural form. Imitating natural forms, Fuller used triangular shapes to form dome structures. That's clearly the inspiration for the architect of this house in Hampton Bays. Anyone who has dreamed of living in a Bucky Ball can snap this "energy efficient gem" up for$699,000. For that price, you get three confusing bedrooms, three confusing baths, two acres, a pool, and a thankfully rectangular poolhouse.
Still on the market? No