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Our Top 5 Crimes of the Hamptons, it's not Even a Little Scary

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We had quite the amusing summer reporting on the misadventures of Hamptonites with too much money and too little common sense. If you are asking yourself if you fit into this this category, then you probably do. The solstice has given way to a more sensible fall, but we simply could not ignore the hilarious list from our buddies at Gawker. In lieu of real crime, the site recapped some of the most outlandish incidents that turned up on police blotters of the East End. And, if you are still wondering what truly makes a misdemeanor Hampton-y, just read on to find out.
• 10/31: Police were called out for the Ragamuffin Parade last Sunday but there were no cases of unruliness reported.

• 10/10: Two men charged with aggravated drunken driving who were seated next to each other on the prisoners' bench Sunday morning found that their families knew each other.

• 10/03: The defendant [arrested for a DUI; in the Hamptons for a wedding] asked Justice Cahill if he could talk to her about getting an attorney. "Talk to the bride. She has connections," the justice said, as she set bail at $500.

• 8/15: A large turtle was reported making its way across the 7-Eleven parking lot last week. By the time an officer arrived, it had reached the back of the professional building, headed toward the sandy beach beyond. No action was taken.

• 5/16: Police investigating reported "cursing and shouting" on Newtown Lane one afternoon last week came upon a Montauk 17-year-old "who was attempting to free-style rap." He was asked to take his artistry elsewhere, which he did.