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First-Time Homebuyer Horror Story # 3

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Here's the final entry into our first time homebuying horror story contest. Remember, our poll will be opening at 1PM today, so come back and vote for your favorite then.

"Our broker took us to this East Hampton Village home as the last home on a day we saw 16 properties. As we walked in to the house this stench of cat piss hit us ? enough to make your eyes water. I almost vomited. The broker then began her broker babble - how the house is screaming for a young couple who will make it a real gem etc. And we should disregard the smell – the owner just absolutely loves cats etc. The standard bullshit. Meanwhile the house seriously needed to be blown up. Literally. Blown. Up. Try to picture a house that looks as if your 90 year old grandmother was born, lived, birthed her 7 kids and then died all in the home without doing one renovation over her 90 year life. And maybe her body was still in one of the bedrooms – we didn’t stick around too long to find out.

As if the cat stench was not enough - the horror part came when the broker (who might have been the owner since she had this odd affection for the dump) said goodbye to us. She came over and shook our hands and whispered? 'I’m family? all we need is an ‘8’ in front of the number and we are good to go.' Apparently it was pretty obvious that we are a gay couple so I guess that meant she was a big ol' lesbian. I think my response of “I’m not sure we’d pay $8 for this” was a bit bitchy but whatever. We saw 16 houses that day and my patience was running thin by then."

· Rookie Roosts Week 2012 [Curbed Hamptons]