The eighth month of the Gregorian calendar is a terrifying time to be in the Hamptons for it marks the annual return of the August People. Who are these people who make life miserable for the rest of us? Jodi Della Femina explains it this thusly:
"An August person isn't the best. I've been pushed around a lot — literally in stores — by August People. August People come out here for a few weeks and feel very entitled to an experience out here. Whether they've rented a house that is ridiculously overpriced or whatever it is and they feel entitled to a certain experience out here and they will get it at no expense to anybody else. I've had hot coffee dropped on my foot by an August Person and then they looked at me as if I had done something. I waited tables for years, I bartended for years, and it's a little scary when August rolls around because it's a lot of people who are extremely demanding...there are a lot of people who just come for a very short period of time and take over...there's an entitlement that comes with it that often pushes everyone else around a bit more than they should." So for those that are checking in to their August rentals this week, please please please do not be an August Person. Do not honk at cars on Main Street that are just trying to parallel park. Do not shove someone at Citarella for not bagging cherries fast enough. Do not yell at a hostess when she can't seat an incomplete party.
As for the rest of us? There are only 35 days until Labor Day and what doesn't kill us can only make us stronger.