Some of the pampered citizens of East Hampton have created pretty sheltered lives for themselves. But that doesn't mean they don't have their own set of rich people problems to keep busy with. And for proof, we direct your attention to a few gems from a recent East Hampton Village police log. The first nugget recounts a tragic robbery, right here on Main Street. Says the police filing: "A 13-year-old West End Road resident told police on Aug. 31 that someone stole her bag after she left it on Main Street in front of Dylan's Candy Bar." First, awesome that the girl lives on West End Road, where houses hover around $30 million. Second, to the girl's credit, Dylan's Candy Bar is a pretty distracting place, especially for a kid. All things considered, though, not sure if this one warrants any sympathy.
Up next is sad case of vandalism, wherein a car "was scratched from front to rear on the driver's side on Aug. 31 while it was parked in the long-term parking lot off Gingerbread Lane." The model? A "2006 Corvette." Whatevs, just an excuse to get a new one, right?
The third example involves a brawl that broke out near Main Beach. The culprits? A couple of aggressive swans that waddled their way onto Lily Pond Lane. Says the police report: "At 8:30 p.m.Sunday, police went to West End Road and Lily Pond Lane, where they assisted a swan out of the roadway." Fowl play at its finest.
· Also on the logs [East Hampton Star]