'When you drive out from the City to the Hamptons, take with you a quart sized plastic Ziploc baggie, on your way take a detour down the Belt Parkway or the Meadowbrook to one of the beaches here, find a beach with sand on it and fill the baggie with sand. Places with lots of sand are Coney Island, Far Rockaway, Jones Beach and Gilgo. Take these full baggies out to Montauk, sprinkle the sand out on the beach at the foot of the Montauk Lighthouse, and then accept the thanks of the Hampton Council.' And so goes Dan's latest bid to become The Onion of the East End. [Dan's Papers]
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