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Tough Tong's

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While Ed Kleefield's Madame Tong's Restaurant & Lounge miraculously opened last weekend, the term restaurant was being used loosely. To27 reports a '40 minute' wait on appetizers and another '90 minutes to get your entrees', which arrived cold. For dessert, your credit card will be 'lost by the staff and found on the dance floor an hour later'. More unbelievably, this endlessly optimistic reviewer mentions 'a fun crowd' and suggests the restaurant's backyard to 'enjoy a tasty cocktail under the stars', statements clearly made as the result of wait-time induced delirium. [To27]