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EaterHampton Complaints Dept: Guess the Celebrity Edition

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Once again, we bring you the EaterHampton Complaints Department. In this edition, we invite you to guess the celebrity targeted in the following rant, as so to protect his or her apparent smoking habit. As always, please send us questions, concerns and complaints about any Hamptons dining experience. We're here for you.

From: [an eater]
Date: Wednesday, July 15, 2009
To: eaterhampton complaints dept.
Subject: Celebrity Greases the Wheels of Waldbaums
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So I try to get into The Blue Parrot on Saturday night for a swift one on my way home but the hostess tells me that the Bar is "packed to capacity". I walk on but look in and see that the bars capacity must be set at a number lower than 5 as there are 4 people standing at the bar.

I console myself with a trip to Waldbaums and after a long thwarted search for an errant good loaf I make my way to the checkout with a consolation family pack of Ruffles. As I'm paying this breathless young woman is behind me in the line and seems a little flustered. She mumbled something about being a waitress at the Parrot and in desperate need of Marlboro lights.

The checkout lady said that it was too late to get cigarettes and then the waitress, in a very nice and innocent way says "please don't tell that I have [Redacted] at my table and I really need the Marlboros". The teller says in very laconic kind of way, "oh, it's one of those is it?"... and then everyone seems to be on the same page and complicit in the reciprocation of celebrity need.

I felt slightly miffed that I couldn't even get in the place for a pint, let alone have the waitress follow me down the street with a drink in hand; and then I continued on my walk home in the lightning storm, mulling over the idea of backroom accomodations that are afforded celebrity and how that might feel, if indeed it feels at all.

Blue Parrot

33A Main Street, East Hampton, NY 11937 Visit Website