Resto-Blogger Bruce Buschel is at it again this morning, completing the list of his Top 100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do. Rules 1-50 were as controversial as they were popular last week, with some fans applauding his standards, while others berated him for taking the personality out of the dining experience. To each his own. If the future waitstaff of the Bridgehampton restaurant felt some heat with the first round, the second half of the rulebook certainly turns the pressure cooker up. The best of the 50-100, after the jump.
58. Do not bring judgment with the ketchup. Or mustard. Or hot sauce. Or whatever condiment is requested. 62. Do not fill the water glass every two minutes, or after each sip. You’ll make people nervous.
66. Do not return to the guest anything that falls on the floor — be it napkin, spoon, menu or soy sauce.
71. Do not race around the dining room as if there is a fire in the kitchen or a medical emergency. (Unless there is a fire in the kitchen or a medical emergency.)
78. Do not ask, “Are you still working on that?” Dining is not work — until questions like this are asked.
82. If you drip or spill something, clean it up, replace it, offer to pay for whatever damage you may have caused. Refrain from touching the wet spots on the guest.
93. Do not play brass — no brassy Broadway songs, brass bands, marching bands, or big bands that feature brass, except a muted flugelhorn.
94. Do not play an entire CD of any artist. If someone doesn’t like Frightened Rabbit or Michael Bublé, you have just ruined a meal.