Welcome to the latest offering from the Curbed Hamptons Listage Department, where everyone loves a good countdown. With this week's pebble extravaganza, we've stumbled upon our tenth rather hideous selection in the feature of the same name. Let's take a stroll along that badly decorated memory lane and revisit the top 10 most hideous houses for sale in the Hamptons. Proceed with caution, and as always, don't forget to send more nominations our way.
10) The House: Poolside Sails, Amagansett
The Price: $4 million
The Hideousness: Though the house is sparsely decorated, the pool sails are the truly hideous part of this dune-nestled modern. Advertised panoramic vistas are slightly encumbered.
Listing: Modern Dunes Home [Corcoran]
9) The House: Garage-Topper, Westhampton Beach
The Price: $11 million
The Hideousness: A Dune Road modern, this pricey waterfront is fine on the inside but boasts a truly bizarre spirally crown. Evokes industrial parking garage-chic.
Listing: No longer available
8) The House: Pebble Mania, East Quogue
The Price: $5.995 million
The Hideousness: As we said earlier in the week, vast amount of pebble adornment is really a design feature only Bernie could love. 6,000 square feet of exterior rockage.
Listing: Gorgeous Oceanfront on 2+ Acres [CWB]
7) The House: Tweety Bird Gym, Southampton
The Price: $12.195 million
The Hideousness: It's a sadly-decorated modern, but the true blasphemy comes by way of the 'double height ceiling' 'above-ground gym' - with a giant picture of Tweety Bird. Why...
Listing: Contemporary in Private Estate Section [Sotheby's]
6) The House: Roadkill Rugs, Southampton
The Price: $49.5 million
The Hideousness: Bad art abounds, but the double zebra carcass rugs really take the cake in this manse. Though with 18,000 square feet to fill, rug shopping must really get old.
Listing: Southampton Estate [Corcoran]
5) The House: Ode to Versailles, Water Mill
The Price: $13.2 million
The Hideousness: Fish-eye photography aside, this French chateau-inspired mansion is a victim of a gold statue-loving owner. A dog in one listing pic looks perplexed by this taste.
Listing: escape City Life for the Summer [HRG]
4) The House: Shoe-Kitchen, Water Mill
The Price: $899K (chopped)
The Hideousness: A 'chef's kitchen' that gave us a vision of Imelda Marcos making pancakes. Antique shoe print adorn every inch of space in this barn house wonder.
Listing: Water Mill [Elliman]
3) The House: Orange Screening Room, Montauk
The Price: $35 million
The Hideousness: A high-priced modern compound on the ocean, this orange nightmare of a screening room evokes Truffaut's Fahrenheit 451. Bizarre seat pillows to boot.
Listing: Extraordinary Montauk Oceanfront [Sotheby's]
2) The House: Pillow Madness, Southampton
The Price: $4.5 million
The Hideousness: The general floral explosion is missed in this horrid room as a six-pillows-per-twin-bed rule has been enacted. We pity any guests in this guest suite.
Listing: Townhouse in the Heart of Southampton [Sotheby's]
1) The House: Technicolor Dreamhouse, East Hampton
The Price: $4 million
The Hideousness: Clearly the winner, this epically bad/weird/ugly design has a foam floor and a sculptural sensibility, with bizarre paint colors inside and out. A legend.
Listing: Between Art and Architecture [Sotheby's]